Of love and second chances....

Around this time last year, Jerry and I had been dating for five months, but it felt like we had always been together. We had already planned our future together, and we knew we would be married eventually. Yes, five months is quite a short time, but at our ages we didn't think there was much point in waiting for the sake of a timeline. We had even looked at rings, (which was MUCH more nerve-racking than I ever imagined.) and visited chapels one Saturday. So naturally, when Valentine's Day rolled around, my mind was set on marriage.....and getting a ring.

I tried to reason with myself to get it out of my mind. He hadn't had enough time to get the ring, ask my Dad and tell the kids. He wouldn't do this on Valentine's Day, that's not his style. I told myself that it wasn't going to happen, but no matter how many conversations I had with myself, I could not get the possibility out of my mind that very very soon I would be getting a ring.

Now let me interject here: I was a very independent single woman for seven years. I had endured Valentine's Days as a single person, and while in a relationship as well. I thought I had learned to take these things in stride. It was just another day, and I was grateful for all the love in my life everyday....relationship or none. I had been very level-headed about most things.... until Jerry came along. Then all this went down the proverbial toilet. I became one of those mushy-gushy lovey-dovey types who inundated my Facebook friends with statuses about how wonderful my boyfriend was and posted kissy face pictures with silly captions. I used his name at least 75 times by noon every day. I found reasons to talk about him, I thought about him constantly. I doodled our names together. Yep, I was that girl...

So naturally, when Jerry took me to a fabulous restaraunt for our Valentine's dinner, I was on alert. This was the night. I got a manicure. (so I could show off the ring) I made sure my hair and make-up were perfect. When we were seated in a romantic little booth, my suspicions and excitement grew. I watched to see if the waiters treated us differently. I became "that" girl in the movies who casually poked around every dinner roll and looked in my drink every five minutes. I tried to be casual, but I'm sure it showed. Thank goodness Jerry didn't trip, or bend down to tie his shoe. I'm certain I would have shouted "Yes, I'll marry you!!" before I realized that he wasn't proposing. He didn't propose on Valentine's Day. I wasn't disappointed... but even more anxious over the next month until he did actually ask me. Little did I know that he had already bought the ring, and was planning everything already. I just had to be patient... just like I had to be patient for God to let me fall in love with him.

What a difference a year makes! Today, I woke up to Valentine's surprises from my HUSBAND. I'm running errands for our lovey-dovey family dinner, and I'm hurrying to finish this blog before I have to go sit in the car rider line to pick up Halle. My life is SO incredibly different, but it's so incredibly wonderful. I wouldn't have changed the day or the way he proposed for anything...with both kids present and Halle's sign that said "SAY YES!!" Everything was perfect... all the way that God planned it.

Today and every day I'm thankful for the love of an amazing, godly man who loves me unconditionally. I'm thankful for the pure joy that he brings into my life daily, and for the countless times per day that he makes me laugh until my tummy hurts. I'm thankful for his ears that listen when I complain and when I have silly stories to tell, and for his heart that understands me more than I thought was ever possible. I'm thankful for good morning concerts and silly songs he sings to me every morning, and that I never have to wake up alone again. I'm thankful for the husband he is, the son he is and the unbelievable Father that he is. I'm thankful for the kindness in his eyes, and the fact that he's probably tearing up reading this now. I'm thankful for his hands that hold me, and reassure me when my world is uncertain. Most of all, I'm thankful that I've been privilege to fall in love and marry my very best friend. I'm so grateful that God gives us the benefit of second chances, and that he knows the desires of our hearts before we ever do...he certainly knew exactly what I needed, exactly who I needed, exactly when I needed it.

Happy Valentine's Day!
Amber

Of Snow Days, Mean Girls, and Friendships

I'm sure in my new "gratitude attitude" blog (sorry, I had to) that I should find something beautiful in the snow. I should probably appreciate the crisp cold air and how the cold weather kills off all the bad things in nature. I should notice the incredible beauty of the contrast in color as the redbird lands on my windowsill. I should write about finding the joy in being a kid again as I sneak outside to catch snowflakes on my tongue. However, as I sit snowed in for the 4th day in a row watching more snow fall from the sky I realize I'm over it. Done. I've baked, made snow cream, had snowball fights, and tried (unsuccessfully) to build a snowman. I've snuggled in front of the fire and emptied my DVR. I've lived in my PJ's and gone without makeup all week. I've made every soup and chili known to man....I would like an occasion where I have to chew my food, not sip it. Now I want sunshine, beaches, flip flops and a reason to wear sunglasses other than to stop the blinding reflection from all of the white around me. Is that so much to ask?  I didn't think so either. So, for all of you who are doing snow dances out there...stop. Seriously, it's not funny anymore.

End whiney sesssion... now!

Halle had a friend over yesterday to play. I knew she would go crazy without someone to play with. Abby was driving her sister nuts at their house, and I needed someone to distract Halle while I did a little homework. A sleepover seemed to be the answer. Two Three birds with one stone. As I watched them run around the house playing and listened to them giggle, I realized how much I hope she grows up realizing the importance of having great friends. I watch her and realize that she's just approaching that age when sweet, loving, little girls become mean girls. This terrifies me. I remember too well those days when cliques form, priorities shift, and the importance of being kind is suddenly overshaddowed by the need to cut one another with a snide remark to make them feel as bad as we do. For this reason, little girls frighten me... and because I was one once.

In my life, I've been blessed with the best friends and family... and friends who are very much like family and family who are some of my closest friends. I can't imagine my life without them. We love unconditionally, laugh until our bellies ache, cry, together, pray together and trust one another implicitly... you can't put a price tag on that. Today, and every day I am thankful for these people....more thankful than I can ever express in words!

Halle, I know that life's gonna seem horrible at times. You're gonna feel confused and angry and sad for reasons you don't even understand. Your heart is gonna be broken by boys, and by people whom you consider to be your friends. You won't be invited to every sleepover and birthday party you think you should be. Your feelings are going to be hurt, and you're going to hurt the feelings of others. As smart and athletic as you are, you won't always be the best and your friends might achieve more than you do. I pray that through everything you realize that these are petty, temporal things. No amount of gossip, backbiting or de-friending will make these things better. Hold on to the people you love and cherish your moments with them. Although these "silly" things seem life altering right now, in the grand scheme of things they aren't that important. When your heart aches and when you're at the end of your rope you're gonna need people to love you unconditionally and listen to you cry. You're gonna need friends who help you unwind with a night of chick flicks and laughter. I wish we could always be those people you'll turn to in those times, but I know better. I pray your heart is never in search for someone to confide in, and that on your wedding day and at the birth of your children you're surrounded by amazing, true friends. (and of course your family who loves you more than you could ever imagine too!)

Beginning again

For years, I blogged religiously and loved it. I even had a few followers who endured my endless rants on the silliness of my life and the oddities of pop culture and reality television. (God bless them!) However, the business of life and the sudden need to be more private about my thoughts, etc slowed down my posting to nothingness. I've been feeling the urge to blog again, so I created this one a few months ago. I wasn't sure what I wanted this blog to be, but I knew I wanted to write. I tried to post several different times to no avail. I thought I had a severe case of writer's block. In truth, I just can't adequately express how much my life has changed, and how incredibly happy I am now. How could I ever contain in words the love I've been given, the strength I've found, and the pure joy that I'm surrounded by every day? How could I possibly say how much I appreciate every single laugh, smile, tear,  movie night, volleyball game and school play? I'm overwhelmed just thinking about it.

Three simple words come to mind: I AM BLESSED.

Through the entire time of  pondering what I should write for my first blog, I kept coming back to this idea that I am blessed. To say I am thankful is a vast understatement. So this blog will be dedicated to the idea that each and every day holds a new blessing and brings new gratitude.Yes, I'm sure that my old, non-sense posts about pop culture, reality tv and life in general will still dominate the blog space. But each day will give me an opportunity to reflect on another thing I'm thankful for. I need to acknowledge the small things as well as the big things in life. Regardless of the craziness and silliness of my life, the hectic schedule I maintain, or the trials I face, I am blessed.

It's cold outside today It's FREEZING cold outside today. There's about 6 inches of snow on the ground at my house, and many many more in much of the country today. Today, I am thankful for a home with a heater and comfy fireplace to sit beside and stay warm. I'm so grateful that I've been given a family to be snowed in with, to cook for, and to snuggle and keep each other warm on days like this. A year ago, I would've been alone in my cold duplex. Today I get the privilege of cooking them dinner, baking sweet treats for them, and making memories with them.  Even though we're stir crazy and I'm always picking up a messy house on snow days, I know that every moment together is precious, and I'm so so so grateful for it!

-amber